When I heard the news about Pope Benedict XVI resigning from
the Chair of Peter, I can’t even begin to explain the sadness and confusion I
felt about his decision. How does one
walk away from a position that one has been chosen for by the Holy Spirit? If we truly believe that it is the Spirit
that guides the Cardinals in electing GOD’s chosen one for the Papacy, how does
one resign that? How does one say, “OK,
Lord, I’m done.” I just couldn’t wrap my
mind around it and I had to do some serious soul searching.
Feeling alone and isolated; I don’t get EWTN here in Bahrain
so I couldn’t even hear the holy or scholarly discuss the issue at hand or give
guidance or even help me understand it, I had no one to turn to except to my
heart where I begged God to speak to me and give me understanding. After several days of no real answers, I
decided that it was not for me to judge, or
maybe even understand. After all,
only God knows the secret conversations He has with a person’s heart. God’s will is certainly not always
understood by man either. If I allowed
myself to look at what I had learned to love in Pope Benedict over the past 8
years, it was his humility. He humbly
accepted the Chair even when he felt he was too old; in his humility, he clung
to and gave us a valuable witness to the love of Truth; and he never compromised
that truth for the ways of the world. I
had to believe that it was in that same humility that He must have turned to
God for direction, and then humbly submitted to God’s will – that He would now
devote the rest of his life to “praying” for the Church.
How deeply do we value the power of prayer? We say it all the time; I’ll pray for you;
pray for me; pray about it. But do we
really believe in the power of those prayers?
I had to answer that for myself a few days ago. You see, I hit a wall. The first time I allowed myself to ask, “Lord,
WHY am I here?” It had been a rough
couple of days; or maybe I had just been suppressing my feelings for too
long. In any case, on that particular
day it seemed like the weight of the world was on my shoulders. I was worried for my husband; he was sick and
still trying to adjust to his new work environment; I was worried for my
daughter who is 4 months pregnant and experiencing constant all-day sickness
with no relief in sight; I was worried for my other daughter who was facing
mounting stress at work; I was worried for other members in my family and loved
ones who each have personal problems of their own, and I felt so helpless! Why was I here and not there? Why did I have to be so far away without any
way of helping? I went up and sat on our
balcony, looked up at the full moon and cried out to God “Why am I here? What
can I do???” And I heard Him say “PRAY.” Pray? That’s
it? I already do pray; all the time,
every day. Then the realization kicked
in; yes, I pray every day, but do I “really” pray with fervor and
devotion? Do I take as much time as it
takes. Time – I remember one day long
ago, sitting at my kitchen table doing my Bible Study; I started off with a
prayer as I always do and then it led to another prayer and another. The list of people who needed prayer just
kept growing and growing and I remember thinking, ”Lord, why are so many people
in need of prayer? I feel bad because I don’t
have time to pray for all of them! If I
sat here and prayed for each one, my whole morning would be gone and I have so
much to do! I have to write this week’s
Lecture; I have to do this and go there, etc… “ Well, I don’t have that excuse
now, do I? Time is ALL I have now and God is giving me
that time to do what I need to do; PRAY for those I love. Even if I was at home, I can’t change or
control the situations. They are not
mine to control. But here, alone, I have
the time to really and fervently devote my time to prayer because that is truly
the most powerful thing I can offer.
My thoughts immediately turned to Pope Benedict; that is
what he was going to do. That is what
God told him to do. Why did I doubt that
it would be any less important or powerful than what he was doing for us while
he sat in the Chair? After all, GOD is
in control! Then I thought about Jesus;
how often did Jesus not go away, alone, to PRAY; to pray for US, for the whole
human race; for GOD’s will to be done.
The Pope is the Vicar of Christ and what a beautiful example Pope Benedict
now gives us as he follows Jesus’ footsteps and goes off alone to PRAY. It is
here that He will continue to imitate Christ; it is here that He will continue
to be effective for God’s purposes and for God’s Church. His time and devotion to prayer will be
greatly needed in this time of crisis for our Church, and it is in the power of
his prayers that the Church will continue to be blessed. Of that I am sure of!
Thank you Holy Father for teaching me something so valuable once
again; the power of prayer! I must
humbly accept my place in this world and trust that GOD is sovereign over all
things; over every situation, and that sometimes the best thing I can do for someone in need; someone I love; is to simply PRAY for them, trusting that
God hears the prayers of the faithful and answers them accordingly according to
His holy will.
I feel a great sense of peace and security in the knowledge
that Pope Benedict will be praying fervently for us. May I have the discipline and the desire to
do the same for those I love and those in need.
This is your best - this is beautiful. Absolutely beautiful.
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